The reality is...

i drink to forget...
It never works i dont no why i try, at some point at the night, usually when i get home i have a massive comedown, where i realise i still havent found a replacement, nowhere near it in fact.

Just two things...

Love.
Once you have found it, never let it go.
The saying is if you do let it go, if its strong enough it will come back.
Well its a long time coming. If i'm honest with myself i know i will never be able to find that kind of love again, mainly because i wont let myself be hurt like i as again.
That feeling of missing someone, hurts me too much inside.

Lastly, how do i change the fact i will always be seen as the girl that just goes out every weekend, no matter where, who with or cost. I'm just there like part of the furtniture, really no one cares if i am or not. I would like to be a few of my friends priorities but i always seem to be in the background, i'm just the girl you go out and get drunk with and use when you havent got the one there by your side.
How can i change this?

goodnight (not completely sober)
x