routine.

I've never really been a routine person and now i realise why, it bores me. I like the unpredictable feeling when your not quite sure what you want to do or where you want to be.
Over the last week or so a few conversations have made me realise that i have this routine, simplistic life. I'm trying to get in the mind set that this is what i have been looking for, but i take a step back look at my life and its not something i've ever really tried to achieve.
Through school my aim was always to go uni and live that crazy lifestyle everyone thought i would adapt to easier than anyone. For one reason and another it wasnt for me, i cant help but point the blame at someone else for this and i guess there always will be a part of me that is bitter about the whole situation. If i had stuck it out i realise that i could have had many more opportunities. But everyone has regrets.
My life used to be very unpredictable, i wouldnt like to say it was more fun, maybe more controversial.
I think what i'm trying to say is by changing myself over the past few months, in a roundabout way i feel that i have lost me, my identy and now i'm just adjusting to what people want and expect.
I need to work on this and maybe search for something in my life suited to me and something that excites me.
My worst nightmare would be realising in ten years time that i have missed out and gone down the wrong road.
I'm not going to make any dramatic changes, but i'm going to be on the lookout, there could be some changes to m lifestyle in months to come.