So i thought this was worth a try to put my feelings into words, instead of a jumble of mixed up thoughts that are going around in my head. If you come across this and know me, never ask me questions about what i'm writing this is just for me, i shoudnt have to answer to everything.
I'm hoping i can look back at this page back in a few months and think, yeah things have got better, the days might go a bit quicker, the constant abuse of alcohol might stop and maybe il open up to my friends and show them who i really am.
In this moment in time things are looking pretty bleak for me, this has been the worst week over the last two years and i have come to realise i'm a needy person, something i never thought i was or would become, but them maybe i was just trying to ignore it. This week has bought back some horrible memories and too many situations have reminded me of a time in my life when i was really unhappy.
I want to feel safe again, i need him back, if only in a small part of my life for me to get any sense of real emotion or feeling. I thought i may of found someone this week that could of given me a small sense of security, but turns out they just gave me a false sense of hope and ended up doing the inevitable and disappointing me with empty words.
There are some postives and they could help me get some direction back.
But right now i just keep asking myself, whats the point in any of it?
Thats all for now.
x
No comments:
Post a Comment